A Tribute to Ernest Enix Jr.

May 12, 1950 -- December 16, 2009

Today, almost the last day of the year, the sky is grey as raindrops softly fall on the car's windshield as I drive to the Riverside National Cemetery to bury my close friend. The rain stopped when a few family members arrived at the chilly grave site for a twenty minute farewell.

It was only a week earlier that we celebrated Ernest life at a exceptionally outstanding classy service filled with his favorite styles of music, and words from clergy addressing the stages of life. Ernest's friends and his Valley Fellowship church family, interrupted their routine of life at mid-day on a Wednesday to pack the church in Rialto California bringing their love and support for his wife, Debbie, his daughter and son, Laurel & Matthan, his sisters, Wandalyn & Ernestine, his niece Nicole and extended relatives.







Though music was not his vocation, it was his avocation from an early age. He played the trumpet, string bass, bass guitar, organ and he even learned later in life to play the steel drum. He took his gift of music very seriously by practicing many hours before performances. In fact, he became very frustrated when an event is approaching requiring his gift and yet he had not received the music. One Friday afternoon, I was right next to him in my car and I blew the horn--he was so focused on listening to his part, he didn't see/hear me. I had to phone him to get his attention. Though he was a baritone/bass, he sung tenor in the gospel choir back in the day just to hang out with us.

Though he never professed to be a comedian, he was definitely a funny guy, in a low-key sort of way. He had a love for life and found wit and comic in just about every conversation we had. No matter the length of the phone calls or visits, I would separate from him wearing a smile. Even when he was in the hospital wrapped with pain, I read a message of hope that he text me months earlier: his reply was, "I was delirious". I shot back, "you're doing drugs up in here so you are delirious now". We smiled.


Though he did not profess to be the perfect husband or perfect father, he gave it his best shot and brought much joy into the Enix family home in Loma Linda. He would engineer an extreme makeover to the house to celebrate every family members' birthday. He was very detailed, right down to the colors of the plates, cup, balloons, streamers, etc. Another avocation was that of a skillful handyman--I personally thought (and still do) that he could fix anything. He loved and cherished his wife and I enjoyed taking pictures of them over the years when they got all dressed up to go out. His pride and joy was his children.

Many icons, household names, high profile individuals died in the year of 2009. To name a few: E.E. Cleveland, Michael Jackson, Lola Jones, Ted Kennedy, Gaines Partridge, Farrah Fawett, Eva Bradford-Rock, John Travolta, Jeff Wiggins, Bea Arthur, Reginald O. Robinson, Valerie Mayne and Ernest's mother, who preceded him three months before. This is only a fraction of the long who's who list who will not see 2010. I could have written a tribute about each one of them but this tribute for Ernest is caused by reasons not shared by those giants of people:


--EE was #3 on my cell speed dial and I was one of his emergency contact numbers in his cell
--EE had a key to my condo and when I got locked out; after a All Man sigh, he would come and let me in. Only happened once in 2009.
--EE bug me the most about signing up for facebook. I still haven't done so.
--EE didn't have a brother but truly treated me like I was his and often called me brother
--EE never tire of me venting about life, something I rarely do to anyone
--EE was apart of my life for almost two decades doing good times and bad.
--EE was the first person I would think of to help me if I ever was stranded
--EE looked out for me notifying of extreme weather for my job
--EE was my personal computer technician. He replaced my DVD-RAM drive right before his first chemo. I took to his house. He said it is not completed but he had to finish it at my house. This was in September and for four months I didn't use the DVD-RAM. He was never able to come by to complete it. After his death, I put in a DVD, and it worked!!
--EE made sure I never went hungry; even when he was weak doing those last months, he would tell me to go in the kitchen and get something to eat, when all I wanted was for his appetite to return strong so he could get well.
--EE received texts from me while I travel about insignificant stuff and made a big deal about it.
--EE was positive and affirming to me and always had my back.

The thread of these few examples reveals our connection. The void is deep; lacuna; it's like loosing your cell phone and you keep grabbing for it and it's not there; numbers are not in your computer or written down anywhere--a lost/empty/awkward feeling. He was a Christian man, so I'm looking forward to seeing him again. There's a saying on the web: "to realize the value of a friend or family member, lose one". Well, I didn't have to lose Ernest to know that I valued him, and I'm glad that I told him many times how I appreciated his friendship: I would use many adjectives but his reply would always be brief: "likewise, or feel the same way man".

Though he is in a deep sleep, he has left an incredible mark on this world via the lives that he touched. My life was enriched by his friendship, no, by his kinship, "brother".

This tribute is dedicated to my icon, household name, high profile person, Ernest Enix, Jr, who I will think about often and that reflection will generate a broad s m i l e.

Continually Missing him,

Willie

PS: If you couldn't make it to the service and would like to see the printed program, email me with that request because I can't figure out how to attached the pdf file to this blog. wwsp@hotmail.com Also, if you click on any photo, it becomes larger. Don't ever be too busy to love those around you. . .

Priceless Christmas Gift Parker Style

The Christmas gift (according to my parents as I spoke to them this morning) was given a week early. My three siblings from Virginia, Alabama & Tennessee and I traveled (12/18/09) to Atlanta to surprised my parents for their 85th Birthdays. The photos attached captures the end of the story: they were totally shocked!!!

It's been over a year since all siblings were in ATL at the same time. On that Saturday morning, we waited until parents left for church before entering their house to set up for the birthday dinner and then dressed for church. We arrived at the church and remained in the parking lot until the service started. After the service started we waited in a back room. They welcomed the visitors and then the church sung Happy Birthday to my parents. Two presentations were given and then my father gave his thank you remarks. Before he sat down, they announced that they had another presentation and it was at that point, my siblings and families walked out from the back room to greet our parents. The audience exploded and my parents were in a happy surreal daze but excited state.

We've surprised them at least three times over the decades, but mother told me this morning that this one was the most unexpected. This one was also the closest to Christmas Day, thus, the priceless Christmas gift: the presence of all of their children. (one photo has three of their youngest grandchildren). The weekend was filled with good food (catered, so mother wouldn't trip about not having enough food), plenty of laughter and sharing. The weekend flew by quickly. I was in town less than 48 hours. But would do it again for it was truly worth it.

For all of you who are reading this, Merry Christmas and if you don't get one gift, but have at least one person you love or love you, cherish that!!! It's worth more than any gift you can receive. Loving family and/or friends is priceless. And that's real talk.

Loving you,

W I L L I E

PS: My father is a retired minister who was the speaker for that day. Special thanks to Steve Ruff and his wife Diane, Senior Pastor of the New Jerusalem Praise and Worship Center SDA Church, who without them, we could not have pulled it off so smoothly. Special thanks to family friend Jackie Smallwood and Mary Smith who catered the food that tasted so delicious that you wanted to "slap somebody".

If you click on any photo, you can make it larger.

A Time To Mourn

Occasionally a time of mourning enters our lives, sometimes stealing in almost silently, sometimes brashly breaking down the door to our well-constructed sense of security. Neither path reflects nor distorts the fact that God loves us. But tragedy and mourning are both part of the ebb and flow or "rhythm of life." (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.)

Ernest Enix Jr., my very close friend, died this afternoon. I can not paint for you a picture of the emotions that is sweeping through my body as I think of the lost of my dear friend. I thought I would have more time to talk, play, sing, chill, kidd around with, tease, love, but I don't. He was one person that I did not have to wear a "mask" in our relationship. He knew the real WSP, good bad and ugly, yet accepted and loved me. I will miss him terribly.

Photo taken 12 months ago of him with his loving family, who are now cherishing his memory: wife -Debbie, daughter -Laurel, and son -Matthan.

Lord, through our veil of tears, help us to view Your rescuing hand, that we might reach out to grasp You more firmly.

Rest in Peace EE.

Your friend,

W I L L I E

A War For Your Soul

Sometimes I'm frustrated while talking to hi-risk youth wondering if I'm making a difference. This 18 min film will help has I show it to one youth at a time. The only missing element in the film is that it doesn't address the question: What Now? These kids need jobs, training for skill labor, finances for college, skills in mastering effective relationships, etc. But I agree with the film's message which is a good starting point. What is also potent about this film is that it should stimulate those of us who have become complacent in our suburban homes and in our inner city churches (where we drive into once a week to attend). This film highlight the war for all of our souls.

Please click on the link and watch at your convenience.

http://vimeo.com/3658572

Concern and hopeful,
W I L L I E

Got Your Back

During this Thanksgiving Season, take a minute to thank those (family and/or friends) who truly "got your back". Enjoy the four minute movie clip: (click on link:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4xueqvdb-8

"i got ur back"
W I L L I E

PS: Shout out to all of my family and friends who has shown me throughout the years that they got my back: too numerous to mention all the names, but you know who you are. . . . I LOVE YOU!!!!

"How Sweet the Sound" National Finale '09

DISCLAIMER: Let me state the power of the judges of the Verizon Wireless How Sweet The Sound Competition of Choirs: based on the contract that each choir signed, if there is a tie (point wise) the judges breaks it by their own criteria and at their sole discretion. . .all decisions of the judges are final and binding in all respects. In fact, the words: sole discretion is used many times in the contract. This WSOSP Commentary will show one time the judges "used their discretion" by selecting the winning choir. It is not the purpose of WSP to change or boycott Verizon Wireless Choir Competition. Just calling it as I see it. . .

On Saturday night, 11/7/09 in the city of Detroit, was held the Choir FINALE of 11 Regional Winning Choirs across the country, coming together to compete for the Best Choir in America 09 and the Runner up. This is a rather intense undertaking because the prize for the winner is $25,000 and the runner up $15,000. The Choir's FINALE will be televised on November 22 on The Gospel Music Channel. If you want to see the clip of the two winning choirs before Nov. 22, go to: http://www.howsweetthesound.com/media/videos/2009/2009+finale however, all the other nine choirs will be televised.

For those of us who could not go to Detroit, we were able to attend any of the winning regional choirs churches where Verizon would be live-streaming the concert. Of course I went to the closest one which was Bishop Noel Jones City of Refuge Church in LA. By the way, last month I felt that his choir would come in second place and the DC choir first place. fast forward: The DC choir (The Remnant Concert Choir from Pittsburgh, PA) came in second place and City of Refuge did not place. The winning choir was from ATL. (Atlanta West Pentecostal Church Choir from Lithia Springs, GA.)


City of Refuge Choir P S A L M S

Kudos to Verizon for having judges this year who knew something about gospel singing and choirs: Byron Cage, Dorinda Clark Cole and Marvin Sapp. The remarks about the choirs soon got very redundant but maybe it was because eight of the choirs stepped up their game from their regional win. I personally find it somewhat odd that most choirs sings the same song performed in the regional, so why aren't the judges more prepared to give a more detail and enlighten analyses? This would be helpful for people who have no clue about gospel music. Sapp comes closes to that, but he's at every city, so he may be more comfortable. Dorinda is so cool, but she said to most directors "it showed you put alot of time with your choir" -- I tickle myself as I mouth what she was going to say before she said it. That phrase is not one of the criteria's listed in the rules of performing. "That's a given Dorinda, we are talking about $25,000, so yes all of them spent a zillion hours preparing."

The Winning Choir: Their performance of Smallwood's "Anthem of Praise" was full of energy. That is all I'm going to say about their performance which is MORE than any of the judges said. When ATL completed their performance, the audience clap in appreciation of what they did. The song was over. MC Donald Lawrence comes on stage, as he does with all the choir directors, to ask their name and lead them to the judges. After the ATL choir, he came on stage but did what many ministers do when they end their sermon--started hooping. Within one second, all the ATL choir members where in the holy dance. (as if on cue). The organ did his thing and the church, I mean, arena "went in". Suddenly, all three judges are up dancing and the camera is now on the director doing a marvelous four step dance (which I must admit got me out of my chair because he is White but feet were moving like he was Black). During this 'post activity' I text a friend and didn't know it would be prophetic: ATL just sung and D. Lawrence did it again pump them on to shout after they sung judges are still shouting - anointed? DC is up next and last for the night. Finally, the director is in front of the judges: Cage says how can you judge the holy ghost? And then preceded to dance some more. Then Dorinda spoke in tongues and Marvin preached about what just happened--using the word anointing alot. None of the judges said zip about the choir's performances of Anthem of Praise. This is a perfect example of the use of "sole discretion" by the judges, and their disregard of the written rules.

Here's my recap: if the anointing falls on any choir while they are singing, let HIM Have HIS WAY LORD. if the anointing falls at the end of the song as a result of the song (cause-effect), let HIM Have HIS WAY LORD. In this case, the anointing did not fall at either spot. So what I'm saying is that, the choir was selected as the Best Choir in America, NOT because of the 30% presence, 40% technical skills and 30% originality and creativity, but they were chosen by the dancing and "anointing" after the song. There were clearly 7 choirs that sound better than the ATL choir, which is not a subjective statement. You will agree when you watch the televised concert.

The choir from the DC region and City of Refuge from the LA region in my opinion are exactly skilled in every way. If I was a judge, the points would be the same. After seeing their performance that night, I decided that DC should come in second because the 'breaker' was simple: the choice of song. 'Sold Out' has more energy inherited in the song versus the tight arrangement of DC's 'Blessed Assurance'. But if DC had sung a song in the Sold Out genre, it would have been extremely difficult to choose. Then I would get to use my "sole discretion" in selecting the winner.

Have you ever wish you could re-live a behavior? That happened to me at The City Of Refuge Church that night. When they announced DC as runner up, I just knew City of Refuge had it. But when they said ATL, there was this eerie momentary silence, followed by a few, no, more than a few, clapping for the winner. For me it was like I was hit in the stomach forcefully and had to catch my breath before reacting. The members of City of Refuge dismissed rather quietly. A true display of Christianity as there was no hostile loud statements. Some may say they were in shock. They were clearly disappointed by the facial expressions. Well there were my friends (not members there) who didn't mind vocalizing their displeasure, and I got caught up in that too. I'm sure the members wonder, who were we? and why are THEY so upset. A young man I mentored, Adrien Grace, told me twice, they are all winners let's move on. I was in protest mode so I wasn't hearing him at the time. If I could re-live that moment, I would be like Adrien. I was really convicted on that when I got in the car and prayed that I wouldn't loose focus on what this choir competition goal is really all about. What it is not is an American Idol. So I apology to my Inland Empire friends and in the unlikelihood that those City of Refuge members who were there who heard me, ever reads this blog. I'm sorry about my behavior which was not and is not Christ-like. One of my sayings in everything else in life is "it's not that deep", and that's what I should have said that night too. If I was not a member of any church, I would join City of Refuge based on that positive kind response of the crowd. Someone got to the mic as we were walking out, obviously lost for words too, said goodnight and that when the choir returns we will treat them as winners. In the opening announcments, they acknoweldge last year's regional winners: Mt. Rubidoux SDA Church out of Riverside, CA. They had them stand. There weren't many there, but it was certainly a nice jesture.

Where do we go from here? I love gospel music, especially choirs, so I will pay my five dollars and go to the Verizon regional contest next year and jump and shout for the choir I feel is the best. And pray that I will not be saying next year as I am this year "How Bitter The Sound; A Verizon Wireless Experience."

With love,
W I L L I E

Children

This weekend I had the privilege to spend a few hours with one of my goddaughters, Kelly Camara. It's special because even though she's from Northern California, she resides in New York and rarely comes to Southern California. I can write all day about how special and unique she is, but what's on my mind right now is her hair. I have a montage of her on my wall from over the years, and each photo of her has a different hairstyle. Yesterday, I wasn't disappointed as she sported yet another totally different look. She's beautiful inside and out, and as always, it was great seeing her.

Though I mentor numerous young people, I only have three DNA certified god children (two ladies /NYC & LA /and one man /DC) and one adopted godson (Inland Empire). I also have a son. (Ohio). Except for the adopted godson, the rest are adults (twenties+) and have now become mentors themselves.

Mentoring comes natural for me. It's my "drug" of choice. It seems like every time I assist in ushering one into adulthood, here comes another set of thirsty young people for a positive black male role model. It's sort of cool as I converse with them, it keeps my view of the world fresh. No magic in my relationships, as I don't give advice: I do what they call "effective listening" and give them options instead of telling them what to do. (Thats their parents job).

I genuinely love each person that I mentor regardless of their imperfections; I'm far from perfect myself. I've found that these kids (16-24 are my target mentoring ages) know when you love them without always telling them. They may have their issues and totally confused during their transition into adulthood, but they truly, as they say, know what's up.

"If I can just help somebody, then my living will not be in vain".
With love,
Willie