A Tribute to Ernest Enix Jr.

May 12, 1950 -- December 16, 2009

Today, almost the last day of the year, the sky is grey as raindrops softly fall on the car's windshield as I drive to the Riverside National Cemetery to bury my close friend. The rain stopped when a few family members arrived at the chilly grave site for a twenty minute farewell.

It was only a week earlier that we celebrated Ernest life at a exceptionally outstanding classy service filled with his favorite styles of music, and words from clergy addressing the stages of life. Ernest's friends and his Valley Fellowship church family, interrupted their routine of life at mid-day on a Wednesday to pack the church in Rialto California bringing their love and support for his wife, Debbie, his daughter and son, Laurel & Matthan, his sisters, Wandalyn & Ernestine, his niece Nicole and extended relatives.







Though music was not his vocation, it was his avocation from an early age. He played the trumpet, string bass, bass guitar, organ and he even learned later in life to play the steel drum. He took his gift of music very seriously by practicing many hours before performances. In fact, he became very frustrated when an event is approaching requiring his gift and yet he had not received the music. One Friday afternoon, I was right next to him in my car and I blew the horn--he was so focused on listening to his part, he didn't see/hear me. I had to phone him to get his attention. Though he was a baritone/bass, he sung tenor in the gospel choir back in the day just to hang out with us.

Though he never professed to be a comedian, he was definitely a funny guy, in a low-key sort of way. He had a love for life and found wit and comic in just about every conversation we had. No matter the length of the phone calls or visits, I would separate from him wearing a smile. Even when he was in the hospital wrapped with pain, I read a message of hope that he text me months earlier: his reply was, "I was delirious". I shot back, "you're doing drugs up in here so you are delirious now". We smiled.


Though he did not profess to be the perfect husband or perfect father, he gave it his best shot and brought much joy into the Enix family home in Loma Linda. He would engineer an extreme makeover to the house to celebrate every family members' birthday. He was very detailed, right down to the colors of the plates, cup, balloons, streamers, etc. Another avocation was that of a skillful handyman--I personally thought (and still do) that he could fix anything. He loved and cherished his wife and I enjoyed taking pictures of them over the years when they got all dressed up to go out. His pride and joy was his children.

Many icons, household names, high profile individuals died in the year of 2009. To name a few: E.E. Cleveland, Michael Jackson, Lola Jones, Ted Kennedy, Gaines Partridge, Farrah Fawett, Eva Bradford-Rock, John Travolta, Jeff Wiggins, Bea Arthur, Reginald O. Robinson, Valerie Mayne and Ernest's mother, who preceded him three months before. This is only a fraction of the long who's who list who will not see 2010. I could have written a tribute about each one of them but this tribute for Ernest is caused by reasons not shared by those giants of people:


--EE was #3 on my cell speed dial and I was one of his emergency contact numbers in his cell
--EE had a key to my condo and when I got locked out; after a All Man sigh, he would come and let me in. Only happened once in 2009.
--EE bug me the most about signing up for facebook. I still haven't done so.
--EE didn't have a brother but truly treated me like I was his and often called me brother
--EE never tire of me venting about life, something I rarely do to anyone
--EE was apart of my life for almost two decades doing good times and bad.
--EE was the first person I would think of to help me if I ever was stranded
--EE looked out for me notifying of extreme weather for my job
--EE was my personal computer technician. He replaced my DVD-RAM drive right before his first chemo. I took to his house. He said it is not completed but he had to finish it at my house. This was in September and for four months I didn't use the DVD-RAM. He was never able to come by to complete it. After his death, I put in a DVD, and it worked!!
--EE made sure I never went hungry; even when he was weak doing those last months, he would tell me to go in the kitchen and get something to eat, when all I wanted was for his appetite to return strong so he could get well.
--EE received texts from me while I travel about insignificant stuff and made a big deal about it.
--EE was positive and affirming to me and always had my back.

The thread of these few examples reveals our connection. The void is deep; lacuna; it's like loosing your cell phone and you keep grabbing for it and it's not there; numbers are not in your computer or written down anywhere--a lost/empty/awkward feeling. He was a Christian man, so I'm looking forward to seeing him again. There's a saying on the web: "to realize the value of a friend or family member, lose one". Well, I didn't have to lose Ernest to know that I valued him, and I'm glad that I told him many times how I appreciated his friendship: I would use many adjectives but his reply would always be brief: "likewise, or feel the same way man".

Though he is in a deep sleep, he has left an incredible mark on this world via the lives that he touched. My life was enriched by his friendship, no, by his kinship, "brother".

This tribute is dedicated to my icon, household name, high profile person, Ernest Enix, Jr, who I will think about often and that reflection will generate a broad s m i l e.

Continually Missing him,

Willie

PS: If you couldn't make it to the service and would like to see the printed program, email me with that request because I can't figure out how to attached the pdf file to this blog. wwsp@hotmail.com Also, if you click on any photo, it becomes larger. Don't ever be too busy to love those around you. . .

Priceless Christmas Gift Parker Style

The Christmas gift (according to my parents as I spoke to them this morning) was given a week early. My three siblings from Virginia, Alabama & Tennessee and I traveled (12/18/09) to Atlanta to surprised my parents for their 85th Birthdays. The photos attached captures the end of the story: they were totally shocked!!!

It's been over a year since all siblings were in ATL at the same time. On that Saturday morning, we waited until parents left for church before entering their house to set up for the birthday dinner and then dressed for church. We arrived at the church and remained in the parking lot until the service started. After the service started we waited in a back room. They welcomed the visitors and then the church sung Happy Birthday to my parents. Two presentations were given and then my father gave his thank you remarks. Before he sat down, they announced that they had another presentation and it was at that point, my siblings and families walked out from the back room to greet our parents. The audience exploded and my parents were in a happy surreal daze but excited state.

We've surprised them at least three times over the decades, but mother told me this morning that this one was the most unexpected. This one was also the closest to Christmas Day, thus, the priceless Christmas gift: the presence of all of their children. (one photo has three of their youngest grandchildren). The weekend was filled with good food (catered, so mother wouldn't trip about not having enough food), plenty of laughter and sharing. The weekend flew by quickly. I was in town less than 48 hours. But would do it again for it was truly worth it.

For all of you who are reading this, Merry Christmas and if you don't get one gift, but have at least one person you love or love you, cherish that!!! It's worth more than any gift you can receive. Loving family and/or friends is priceless. And that's real talk.

Loving you,

W I L L I E

PS: My father is a retired minister who was the speaker for that day. Special thanks to Steve Ruff and his wife Diane, Senior Pastor of the New Jerusalem Praise and Worship Center SDA Church, who without them, we could not have pulled it off so smoothly. Special thanks to family friend Jackie Smallwood and Mary Smith who catered the food that tasted so delicious that you wanted to "slap somebody".

If you click on any photo, you can make it larger.

A Time To Mourn

Occasionally a time of mourning enters our lives, sometimes stealing in almost silently, sometimes brashly breaking down the door to our well-constructed sense of security. Neither path reflects nor distorts the fact that God loves us. But tragedy and mourning are both part of the ebb and flow or "rhythm of life." (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.)

Ernest Enix Jr., my very close friend, died this afternoon. I can not paint for you a picture of the emotions that is sweeping through my body as I think of the lost of my dear friend. I thought I would have more time to talk, play, sing, chill, kidd around with, tease, love, but I don't. He was one person that I did not have to wear a "mask" in our relationship. He knew the real WSP, good bad and ugly, yet accepted and loved me. I will miss him terribly.

Photo taken 12 months ago of him with his loving family, who are now cherishing his memory: wife -Debbie, daughter -Laurel, and son -Matthan.

Lord, through our veil of tears, help us to view Your rescuing hand, that we might reach out to grasp You more firmly.

Rest in Peace EE.

Your friend,

W I L L I E