May 12, 1950 -- December 16, 2009
Today, almost the last day of the year, the sky is grey as raindrops softly fall on the car's windshield as I drive to the Riverside National Cemetery to bury my close friend. The rain stopped when a few family members arrived at the chilly grave site for a twenty minute farewell.
It was only a week earlier that we celebrated Ernest life at a exceptionally outstanding classy service filled with his favorite styles of music, and words from clergy addressing the stages of life. Ernest's friends and his Valley Fellowship church family, interrupted their routine of life at mid-day on a Wednesday to pack the church in Rialto California bringing their love and support for his wife, Debbie, his daughter and son, Laurel & Matthan, his sisters, Wandalyn & Ernestine, his niece Nicole and extended relatives.
Though music was not his vocation, it was his avocation from an early age. He played the trumpet, string bass, bass guitar, organ and he even learned later in life to play the steel drum. He took his gift of music very seriously by practicing many hours before performances. In fact, he became very frustrated when an event is approaching requiring his gift and yet he had not received the music. One Friday afternoon, I was right next to him in my car and I blew the horn--he was so focused on listening to his part, he didn't see/hear me. I had to phone him to get his attention. Though he was a baritone/bass, he sung tenor in the gospel choir back in the day just to hang out with us.
Though he never professed to be a comedian, he was definitely a funny guy, in a low-key sort of way. He had a love for life and found wit and comic in just about every conversation we had. No matter the length of the phone calls or visits, I would separate from him wearing a smile. Even when he was in the hospital wrapped with pain, I read a message of hope that he text me months earlier: his reply was, "I was delirious". I shot back, "you're doing drugs up in here so you are delirious now". We smiled.
Though he did not profess to be the perfect husband or perfect father, he gave it his best shot and brought much joy into the Enix family home in Loma Linda. He would engineer an extreme makeover to the house to celebrate every family members' birthday. He was very detailed, right down to the colors of the plates, cup, balloons, streamers, etc. Another avocation was that of a skillful handyman--I personally thought (and still do) that he could fix anything. He loved and cherished his wife and I enjoyed taking pictures of them over the years when they got all dressed up to go out. His pride and joy was his children.
Though he did not profess to be the perfect husband or perfect father, he gave it his best shot and brought much joy into the Enix family home in Loma Linda. He would engineer an extreme makeover to the house to celebrate every family members' birthday. He was very detailed, right down to the colors of the plates, cup, balloons, streamers, etc. Another avocation was that of a skillful handyman--I personally thought (and still do) that he could fix anything. He loved and cherished his wife and I enjoyed taking pictures of them over the years when they got all dressed up to go out. His pride and joy was his children.
Many icons, household names, high profile individuals died in the year of 2009. To name a few: E.E. Cleveland, Michael Jackson, Lola Jones, Ted Kennedy, Gaines Partridge, Farrah Fawett, Eva Bradford-Rock, John Travolta, Jeff Wiggins, Bea Arthur, Reginald O. Robinson, Valerie Mayne and Ernest's mother, who preceded him three months before. This is only a fraction of the long who's who list who will not see 2010. I could have written a tribute about each one of them but this tribute for Ernest is caused by reasons not shared by those giants of people:
--EE was #3 on my cell speed dial and I was one of his emergency contact numbers in his cell
--EE had a key to my condo and when I got locked out; after a All Man sigh, he would come and let me in. Only happened once in 2009.
--EE bug me the most about signing up for facebook. I still haven't done so.
--EE didn't have a brother but truly treated me like I was his and often called me brother
--EE never tire of me venting about life, something I rarely do to anyone
--EE was apart of my life for almost two decades doing good times and bad.
--EE was the first person I would think of to help me if I ever was stranded
--EE looked out for me notifying of extreme weather for my job
--EE was my personal computer technician. He replaced my DVD-RAM drive right before his first chemo. I took to his house. He said it is not completed but he had to finish it at my house. This was in September and for four months I didn't use the DVD-RAM. He was never able to come by to complete it. After his death, I put in a DVD, and it worked!!
--EE made sure I never went hungry; even when he was weak doing those last months, he would tell me to go in the kitchen and get something to eat, when all I wanted was for his appetite to return strong so he could get well.
--EE received texts from me while I travel about insignificant stuff and made a big deal about it.
--EE was positive and affirming to me and always had my back.
The thread of these few examples reveals our connection. The void is deep; lacuna; it's like loosing your cell phone and you keep grabbing for it and it's not there; numbers are not in your computer or written down anywhere--a lost/empty/awkward feeling. He was a Christian man, so I'm looking forward to seeing him again. There's a saying on the web: "to realize the value of a friend or family member, lose one". Well, I didn't have to lose Ernest to know that I valued him, and I'm glad that I told him many times how I appreciated his friendship: I would use many adjectives but his reply would always be brief: "likewise, or feel the same way man".
Though he is in a deep sleep, he has left an incredible mark on this world via the lives that he touched. My life was enriched by his friendship, no, by his kinship, "brother".
This tribute is dedicated to my icon, household name, high profile person, Ernest Enix, Jr, who I will think about often and that reflection will generate a broad s m i l e.
Continually Missing him,
Willie
PS: If you couldn't make it to the service and would like to see the printed program, email me with that request because I can't figure out how to attached the pdf file to this blog. wwsp@hotmail.com Also, if you click on any photo, it becomes larger. Don't ever be too busy to love those around you. . .
--EE was #3 on my cell speed dial and I was one of his emergency contact numbers in his cell
--EE had a key to my condo and when I got locked out; after a All Man sigh, he would come and let me in. Only happened once in 2009.
--EE bug me the most about signing up for facebook. I still haven't done so.
--EE didn't have a brother but truly treated me like I was his and often called me brother
--EE never tire of me venting about life, something I rarely do to anyone
--EE was apart of my life for almost two decades doing good times and bad.
--EE was the first person I would think of to help me if I ever was stranded
--EE looked out for me notifying of extreme weather for my job
--EE was my personal computer technician. He replaced my DVD-RAM drive right before his first chemo. I took to his house. He said it is not completed but he had to finish it at my house. This was in September and for four months I didn't use the DVD-RAM. He was never able to come by to complete it. After his death, I put in a DVD, and it worked!!
--EE made sure I never went hungry; even when he was weak doing those last months, he would tell me to go in the kitchen and get something to eat, when all I wanted was for his appetite to return strong so he could get well.
--EE received texts from me while I travel about insignificant stuff and made a big deal about it.
--EE was positive and affirming to me and always had my back.
The thread of these few examples reveals our connection. The void is deep; lacuna; it's like loosing your cell phone and you keep grabbing for it and it's not there; numbers are not in your computer or written down anywhere--a lost/empty/awkward feeling. He was a Christian man, so I'm looking forward to seeing him again. There's a saying on the web: "to realize the value of a friend or family member, lose one". Well, I didn't have to lose Ernest to know that I valued him, and I'm glad that I told him many times how I appreciated his friendship: I would use many adjectives but his reply would always be brief: "likewise, or feel the same way man".
Though he is in a deep sleep, he has left an incredible mark on this world via the lives that he touched. My life was enriched by his friendship, no, by his kinship, "brother".
This tribute is dedicated to my icon, household name, high profile person, Ernest Enix, Jr, who I will think about often and that reflection will generate a broad s m i l e.
Continually Missing him,
Willie
PS: If you couldn't make it to the service and would like to see the printed program, email me with that request because I can't figure out how to attached the pdf file to this blog. wwsp@hotmail.com Also, if you click on any photo, it becomes larger. Don't ever be too busy to love those around you. . .
This is awonderful tribute.
ReplyDeleteDorothy Corley
Thank you for sharing this. Great job Willie.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awesome tribute! EE was blessed to have you, Willie, as a friend and as it is obvious for all to see, you were as blessed to enjoy his friendship. It is so heartwarming to witness this type of "David & Jonathan" love between two men...it is exemplary. I was not able to attend the service and would love to see the program. My prayers continue to rise for the Enix family. Many, many blessings! Imelda Hatchett-Mitchell
ReplyDeletethat was beautiful willie...so expressive! God bless you and all that feel this loss!marcea
ReplyDeleteGreetings:
ReplyDeleteI too echo the same sentiments of those expressed. And while we do not have answers for some of these losses, God in His mercy still gives us encouragement. And for that I am so very grateful. Dr. Willie, thank you sincerely for being apart of that encouragement. Somehow reading your tribute, (something that I 'm sure was not the easiest task to do)helps us to be encouraged! In closing, I would be remissed if I did not acknowledge your thoughtful gesture in remembering my grandmother, Eva Bradford-Rock in your remarks. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Blessings
Willie,
ReplyDeleteYou truly did a wonderful job on the blog... got one up on me buddy... I will look into how you can attach that pdf to the blog and get back with you.
Phyllip Sr.
Uncle Willie thank you for such a fitting and absolutely wonderful tribute to my Uncle Ernest. Though we lived on opposite sides of the country, I really loved my uncle and enjoyed whenever we did visit each other. Whenever I'm thinking of him, it's good to know that I can download your tribute to him and read it over and over again. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteCandice
Thanks Willie. Now that some time has passed I was able to enjoy reading and reminisce about Ernest. It really did my heart good to see all the pictures and read what you wrote. You truly have a gift...Lynn B.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much my dearest brother for this tribute. For although, I lived the life of his helpmeet and friend/lover, you added a brotherly dimension, that I not only observed but also cherished the comfort of. You loved him with such acceptance, and yes he did "likewise". Love you man.
ReplyDeleteIt is closing in on a year since Ernie died and I would like to add to the tributes that I have read. I found out today that Ernie died.
ReplyDeleteExcept for Wandalyn and Ernestine, it is unlikely you know of me. Ernie and I were friend for many years; we grow up together he was the first “kid” I met when we moved to the Southside.
There were three of us Ernie, Mike and Bernie with the occasional hanger on, we spent the lion’s share of our youth together.
We played Football Baseball in the street played Basketball at one of the local church parking lots, we hung out at the “tree” and played “Gutter Ball” a game of our own invention and to his Dads chagrin. We were wise guys and good kids all at the same time, depending on the day; the neighbors loved us or called the cops. Then my Dad or Ernie’s Dad or Mikes Dad would “take care of it” and within 10 minutes, it was 1st and 10 with the green Ford or Black Chevy as out of bounds.
We learned many of life lessons “hangin on the corner” of Pawnee and Dakota the most important of which was the value of friendship.
Ernie flew back to be in my first wedding. That was the last we spoke we swore we would stay in touch but life does get in the way. Ernie is gone we will not have the chance to catch up for that I will forever regret.
I do know that every time I am asked were I grew up and about my old friends, Ernie’s name will continue to be included as one of my oldest friends but now as one who has gone before and is waiting, perhaps to take another run with his Super Bee against my Boss 302, climb the “tree” or better yet play one more Gutter Ball game.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Till we meet again Ernie; Requiescat in pace
Bernie